Posted on July 27, 2012


written by Robert Pollard

Mitt’s gaffe-laden visit to the UK has seen him mocked in grand style.

In case you’ve missed it, Mitt Romney has been in Britain this week and the Republican Party’s nominee for president has had an absolute nightmare. What started as a well intended visit to firm up relations with Britain and further his own cause of becoming president, turned into a series of gaffes and mishaps that have now made him as infamous here as he already was in America, culminating in my favourite ever Twitter trend – #RomneyShambles. Here’s why.

1 – Obama doesn’t get ‘Anglo Saxon heritage’

It all started with an ill-advised comment from a Romney advisor; words so clearly fuelled by racist undertones it sent lefties into a tizzy. In one of the most blatant pieces of manufactured political posturing you’re likely to see, Romney’s strategists were caught casting doubt on Barack Obama’s ability to fully appreciate the ‘Anglo Saxon heritage’ at the heart of the ‘Special Relationship’ between the two most narcissistic nations on the planet. Now, I’m no fan of President Obama, but having seen the full speech he delivered in Westminster Hall in May last year I can categorically say he has a full understanding of the UK and our entanglement with America. This was simply a lame attempt to frame the President as a black man who doesn’t get white history. What crude, simplistic bollocks.

Whichever Team Romney official thought that statement was a good idea needs sacking. Reactionary lefties like myself were appalled and an anti-Mitt narrative was established before the moronic Mormon had even arrived on these shores.

2 – London 2012 has problems

Best way to piss people off is to lay into exactly what they feel most proud of. Like walking into a new mother’s house and calling her baby ugly. It just doesn’t go down well. In this country right now, the Olympics is (for many) the latest obsession. ‘Don’t slag their Olympics off Mitt’ should have been the one line Team Romney drummed into their man. But no. What does he do? He starts slating the Olympics. Our bloody Olympic Games that we’ve all worked hard towards and love like a child.

Romney was heavily involved in the organisation of the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City. Keen to show he was an expert on something (anything), Mitt said in an interview with NBC:

“There are a few things that were disconcerting,”

“The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and customs officials – that obviously is not something which is encouraging.”

15 years of meticulous planning all for some bloody right-wing nutter, whose favourite novel is  L Ron Hubbard’s Battlefield Earth, to tell us it’s shit. Not on my watch sunshine.

3 – Thank you MI6!

Then came his candidness in thanking MI6 for their “insights and perspectives’.

MI6 is, of course, completely off-limits for open conversation. What they’re up to is not discussed, certainly not by American half-wit vying to become president. Now, I’m all for political openness a la Wikileaks, but this was just a cock-up by a man with half a brain. By this stage, Team Romney must have been wishing they’d stayed at home. But more was to come.

4 – Errr what’s the fella’s name again?

Next up was Mitt’s inability to recall Ed Miliband’s name during a scheduled meeting with the leader of the opposition. With Romney clearly struggling to put a name to the slightly more gormless Miliband face, he suddenly blurted:

“Like you, Mr Leader, I look forward to our conversations this morning.”

Eh? Mr Leader? What on earth is this man on about?

Some (on the right) have suggested that this is down to Miliband’s low profile and lack of charisma but it’s not an argument that washes with me. All Mitt had to do was remember ‘ED’. Two letters. One syllable. He couldn’t even manage that. Amnesia on this scale would surely be damaging to Our Mitt were the unthinkable to happen and the keys to the White House slapped into his greasy palms come November. One shudders at the prospect.

5 – When Boris Johnson’s taking the piss you know it’s time to give it up all and put it down to a bad day at the office

Yeah, that’s right. Boris Johnson, political prat-in-chief, struck the final blow. Boris is a known nut-job; a slapstick parody of a privileged toff with no idea how the majority live. And yet even he decided to stick the boot in. I’ll let the footage do the talking. It’s a jolly good example of good old British rib tickling at the expense of an idiot….and I loved it.

I had to follow the GOP race for a job I was temporarily doing at the start of the year and what struck me was the ineptitude of the whacky line up of candidates. Believe it or not, Mitt Romney WAS one of the better ones. Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Rick Perry and the rest were so out there that this guy walked almost unchallenged into the position of facing Barack Obama in November’s elections. If Obama can’t beat this chump he doesn’t deserve a second term.

Romney now heads to Israel and Poland to complete his three country tour. What was supposed to be a showcase of his political strengths and diplomatic skills will now see all eyes on what further missteps he manages. If he wasn’t running for the most powerful position in the world, this guy would be hilarious.

NB – no 4. It is convention in US politics to say ‘Mr President’ or ‘Mt Speaker’ but ‘Mr Leader’ did seem odd to me!

Posted in: Politics